“Remember my sentimental friend, you will be judged not by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others.” –from The Wizard of Oz
Family, in my mind, can be defined in a multitude of different ways. You have your traditional families, and then you have the families that you create. I often say that I have my First Family, my In-laws, and then my Sweet Briar family. I think the close-knit relationships that we foster here on campus still ring true for our students today (correct me if I’m wrong, Girls!) in a visceral, familial way.
Personally for me, this upcoming weekend is all about family–old and new, traditional and created, on campus and off. It’s a bittersweet anniversary because a year ago I was so happy and elated to be celebrating my impending nuptials with JGL, but we as a community were left saddened and devastated by the loss of our dear Crispen.
If you’ve been reading this blog, you know about Crispen. A little over year ago, as she was nearing the end of her too short life, I remember getting her RSVP to the wedding in the mail, and in her perfectly eloquent handwriting she had responded yes, she would be there. I knew things were going downhill, but I remember beaming at everyone, so excited that my beloved coach, despite all she was going through, made the effort to say she would be there. As a student, and then in my role here in the admissions office, Crispen became for me like that cross between The Mom everyone wished they had and the Coolest Older Sister I never had. She was family, Sweet Briar Family, and as much as I couldn’t imagine going through this day without my Mom, Dad, and ELF, I couldn’t imagine not having her there.
I also couldn’t imagine NOT having my students attend. When you work with me, you let me into your life just as much as I let myself into yours. It’s an intimate working relationship, and one that I find often extends well into your time as a current student on campus. I was so honored that so many of my current students were able to attend our big day, and I hope they got as much of a kick out of it as we did. Days later we found cards and notes from you all that you brought and left, and we were filled with such gratitude that we live in such a caring community with beautiful, wonderful students who make my job fun, rewarding, and worth it.
A year ago this Saturday Crispen finally succumbed to the disease that plagued her for years. I like to think she was finally granted reprieve and relief from all of the pain and suffering she had gone though over all of her years. Our community lost a hugely influential and caring leader, and for many of us that void is still gaping and wide.
A year ago this Sunday, JGL and I started our own family, and decided that sharing our lives together would be infinitely better than ever being apart. As I look back on pictures of that day, we looked so happy, as if the only things in the world we had to care about that day were each other. In retrospect, I still don’t know how I got through our special day with everything else going on in our community–I like to think that it’s because of how special my family and extended family are.
I also like to think that it’s because despite everything, Crispen really did follow-up on that RSVP card. I love to think that she had one of the best seats in the house, peering down from the celestial peanut gallery above with David, John, Gramma and Papa, probably cracking jokes and being silly, sharing that beautiful calming spirit to anyone around her. I felt it that day, just as I feel it even now a year later.
Tags: Community, current students, faculty, family, home
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